Salam people.

Life's getting a bit bored after the holidays. Well, it's up to me to live life. Today there's the s.e.a retreat but due to a foreseen circumstance, can't make it. Really sorry to fellow sea-ians. To someone, jangan merajuk k, kte tak ada nanti nak pujuk =p.

Well, most of the time i'm at home doing nothing much, but just now, in the morning, went to my brother's school to buy his books and uniform. Then, went to the library, and I realized how long i've not borrowed any books, I think, the last time was when I had the American Politics assignment, which was end of last year till early this year. Fuh, cant' forget the ordeal, right rhy? Found a few interesting books, and borrowed books about gardening, muslim heritage, going green (macam paham) and a novel. heh.

Went to Kfc to have our brunch and ate the black pepper chicken. dah kepingin sangat nak rasa. Then had this funny conversation with my brother.

Me: Tengok tu pat luar, tu kan pelakon india yang act cerita erlim montel.

Him: Ish, mana ada, Tak kan jadi security guard pulak.

Me: Eh, mana tahu, bukannya semua pelakon kaya.

Then a few seconds later,

Me: Eh, tengok tuh, kelakar ke pe, security guard yang lagi satu tu tgh pakai make up!

Me: hahaha, pat tgh2 jalan pulak tuh.

Him: eh? yelar

Me: Eh, tu Alias Kadir laa!

Me: Ada shooting rupanya. -__- (dalam hati: paisehnyaa aku!)

Should I get a part time Job? if yes, what will it be???

hmmm....................................................................................

That's all from me for now.

what a wonderful time 2

salaam people!

So here goes the second part of my holidays~~

8th December, Tuesday.

Woke up at 530 in the morning. That's early, I'm just too excited to get ready. Heh. We depart at 7am with 2 cars in row, 14 people. Our destination is...... LANGKAWI! It was unimaginable, but Alhamdullilah I got the chance. =D I was in the car with all my girl cousins, macha, and my second cousin, as the driver. Although it was squeezy with 4 people in the rear, didn't mind much. At the Gas station, I hurriedly went inside the kiosk to stock up, guess what? Strepsils and vicks. My cough was getting worse and I don't want to infect others in the car. Heh. So the journey was quite long, longer than Johor to KL, and my 2nd cousin turn on hindi and tamil songs. What can I expect? haha, 4 Indians against 1 Malay and 1 Chinese. But in the end, me and my cousin have Indian blood too. But I didn't mind at all, because I like Hindi songs too! We talked, and Macha kept cracking up jokes and all the girls kept laughing. It was a joyful ride, I could say. Then Macha turn on tamil nasyid. Quite cool since it's the first time I heard such a song. But the tune and melody seems very oldies. Heh. On the way, kept smsing with murni as she was in malaysia too and we were using digi so our smses only cost us 1 sen for each sms. Cool right?

It took us 5 hours to reach Kuala Perlis Jetty. As the ferry doesn't accomodate cars (unlike going to pulau pinang) we need to unload our bags and park the cars at designated spots. The sun was scorching hot as we unload the many many bags. One of my cousin was assigned to count the number of bags, and every time he recount, he got a different number. haha. That explains the amount of bags we got. We didn't wait for long to get on board the ferry. The last time I was board on a ferry was last year, I think, on my way to pulau pinang. The procedure to board the ferry was unsystematic and it was quite stuffy inside the ferry. But I guess, It was worth it.

The journey on board the ferry was about an hour. The ride was smooth and I don't feel as if I'm at sea. Some of my family members dozed off for a while. Travelling is tiring, Believe me, although there is not much movement. I wonder why...

At last! we reached the shores of Langkawi. I was marvelled by the clear blue waters. There is so much difference between the sea at Kuala Perlis and the sea at Langkawi. The shopping centre near the jetty was quite modern. We were divided into two taxis, one with ten persons, the other 4. I was with the 4 person taxi, we settled quite fast and the driver just sped off without waiting for the other taxi. they were still loading bags and whatsoever not. When we reached the villa, we got to know that the other ten were having their lunch. -__- and we have to wait at the lobby for them for about 30 mins. Thank God they bought us lunch. Haha. After everything's settled and we went to our own rooms and had lunch, we quickly changed our attire to go the beach!! It was a nice villa with open space to play ball games. we played football first, then volleyball then submerged ourselves inside the sea. The sand is very very soft and every step I take my feet sank inside the sand. The seawater was so clear that even after i'm submerged halfway, I can still see my feet clearly. I feel really contented and happy. Then went to the pool. Although I'm not dressed properly, I quietly went inside the pool. Heh. There's a lot of foreigners at this villa, and lots of Arabs too and there's signs in arabic. It didn't felt like I was in Malaysia at all with that kind of surrounding and environment. It just feels great!

9th December, Wednesday.

It's a pity that we've only got to stay a night in Langkawi due to last minute booking. But well, had enough fun. Alhamdulillah. In the morning had fun for one last time before packing up. I had too much fun till I forgot to take lots of pictures in Langkawi. hampeh. But well, it's enough that i've captured inside my mind as a memory. =) Check out at 12 plus and we headed to the cable car place. I was excited but in the end didn't get the chance to ride due to lack of time. The scenery's enough for me. Upon reaching the jetty, I did some window shopping alone while the others waited for my uncle to buy the ticket. I was not far away from them and I kept glancing to make sure that I didn't miss them. While I was paying for some stuff that I bought, I turned around and the whole bunch of people was gone. I kept my cool as i had my msia prepaid with me. I called my uncle but there's no reply. They had gotten the 3pm ride and it was already 2.56pm. I was feeling a bit nervous and tried to navigate my way through the jetty. Alas! they were already queuing to enter the jetty and i managed to catch up on time! kalau tak, tinggallah daku keseorangan di Langkawi. hehe. Felt very relieved. Inilah akibatnya kalau tak stay with the group. Pengajaran yang penting buat diriku. Inside the ferry, there's a hindi movie playing and I watched until I felt asleep. What a tiring but wonderful journey. Reached Kuala Perlis and got inside the car and made our way to penang. What a road trip! Reached Vistana hotel at Pulau Pinang around 8pm, freshen up, and had our dinner at a popular restaurant nearby called something like kayu nasi kandar and had our rest for the next day activities.

10th December, Thursday.

Woke up late as everyone was tired from the drive form Langkawi to Penang. Somebody brought breakfast and we ate at the hotel. Nothing much to do, just walk around the hotel and watch the others play at the swimming pool. Then we packed and went to Flamingo hotel by the beach. It's the first time I'm going there and don't know what to expect. After eating our lunch at a restaurant with a cheeky name called line clear we headed to the hotel, and wow, it is really a nice place. All of us stayed in one apartment. Although it is hard for me to comprehend, all of us fitted nicely in that comfortable apartment. And again, we changed our suits and headed to the beach! Took some pictures and my uncle was surveying the watersports available. And in the end, some of us went parasailing and jet skiing!! It was unbelievable for me to ride the jet ski. I had this fear of drowning but I tried to push that feeling away. I decided to ride with my brother as he wanted to operate the jet ski. It was great. the feeling of being away from the coast on this small jet ski was exhilarating. My brother was a bit nervous to drive too fast and he kept accelerating and breaking. It was hilarious. nak kanchong ada, nak ketawa melihat telatah kita berdua pon ada. I feel the freedom of life. The freedom of making choices and the risk involved. k.. berbual world pula. After that played volleyball, and I don't know why I was so lousy. I think I played football a tad better after that. Heh. I defend the ball without me moving. The ball just reflected! haha. It was a friendly match between us. With 14 people, it's great to play sport games together. That's what I realized during this trip. =)

11th December, Friday.

The day had come for us to went back home to KL. In the morning, me and my cousin decided to walk at the beach to see the sun rise, but it was a bit too late as we waited for the others to get ready. In the end, I was all by myself walking at the beach having some quality time by myself. It's been really long since I've been with nature. Was planning since I don't know when to destress by visiting nature but in the end, I get more that what I've wanted. The view was gorgeous. Just standing at the shore, looking towards the endless sea, with waves splashing at my feet, I feel the peace, the tranquility that surrounds me. It was calming. I was really thankful to Him to let me feel all these wonderful emotions.

Had a delicious buffet breakfast and a heart to heart talk with my second cousin. Went back to the hotel to pack up and relax while the the others went to the swimming pool for the last time. I even had time to watch a movie at tv1. -_- Had maggi for lunch while the others were othering nice foods. why? My throat still hurts like ****. Ouh, and tired of eating Indian food. Seriously. On the way back home, drop by a relative's house at Kuala Kangsar. Over there, some were flat on the sofa and even on the floor. Even the tuan rumah offered me pillows for me to lie down. yelar~~ da puas da main. There's this cute little adorable girl that me and my cousins played with. Made me forget about my sickness and tiredness.

At last! Reached KL at around 11pm. After reaching home, straight went to bed, and I really mean straightaway, with my tudung on. hehe. Was so tired, as during the journey in the car can't get proper sleep due to space constraint.

It was really a wonderful trip and it's all thanks to my beloved uncle and aunt. May Allah bless them. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's all from me for now! =D

what a wonderful time

Salaam people!!

The holidays that I had was really great. Although I was sick since the beginning of the trip, I had fun. And although there were some things that I didn't get to do, I feel blessed. Blessed that God has given me the gift to see, to see the wonders of his creation.

Okay, let's start with the day I finished my last paper. 2nd December, Wednesday.

I was feeling really upset after doing my last paper without any real reason for being that upset. My initial plan was to just follow what the girls had plan to do after the last paper, just eat and chilled. I didn't had a proper breakfast and lunch, since the paper was at 2pm. But after doing that last paper, suddenly, I had no mood at all to do anything, and there was this negative vibe inside me. I just decided to go home at the spur of the moment. Then, in the bus, after I called nenek, was feeling a bit okay, and I don't know why, but I'm really glad I didn't follow the girls. Bought some food and went home. Maybe the emptiness had crept inside me. Well, before, I was so full with my studies, school life and friends, but I feel after that last paper, everything had come to an end.

3rd December, Thursday.

I was suppose to go to KL today with nenek but was not that ready yet, haven't pack a single stuff and two of my cousins are coming over to go to KL with us. Then bapa called and asked me to buy the ticket today so that I will not be in hurry tomorrow to buy the ticket. I was wondering how am I suppose to go to Larkin alone to buy the bus tickets, my brother is in school and it was a last minute thing to ask any of my friends to accompany me. In the end, nenek was the one. Kesian nenek, susah dapat cucu yang pengecut. heh. At Larkin, I was contemplating which time should I choose because there is a MSP meet up tomorrow. In the end, after much thought, I took the 2pm bus as I think that even if I took the night bus, maybe I will not have enough time to make it.

After that, in the afternoon, ask Farahin out as it was quite long since we last met up, it's a pity that Fathin and Jam couldn't make it. I need to buy a pair of casual shoes as my school shoes just gave way. I usually buy lady like shoes at Joo Chiat Complex due to my big foot, but one of my friends suggest CottonOn. Was quite lazy to go all the way to Geylang. Thank God there's a CottonOn outlet at Causeway Point. So meet Farahin around 3pm and we hugged like it's been ages. haha. Farahin was such a camwhore and I was a bit embarassed to take pictures publicly, like depan semua orang boleh nampak.. haha. but it's for a good friend of mine, so just tahan ajelah.. hehe. Ouh, and I had my first meal at Pastamania with her. The food's quite nice, but just not my kind. terlalu muak. but it's nice. heh. Pictures are available at facebook. =) Ouh and we shared a bunch of stories and secrets. hehe. soo sweet of you to tell me. She told me a lot of things about UIA, and it's tempting me to enter there, but I still have another choice, so I'm still considering.

It was really hectic during the night bacause packing up was never easy. It's harder when you are unsure how long you will be away. i just packed till my luggage got full. hah.

4th december, Friday.

At last!! My holiday trip!! I was really glad that I could get away from Singapore asap. I just feel relieved. Felt that I left all my sadness, negative feelings, burden, at home. The journey was smooth, Alhamdulillah, except for the peak hour jam in KL as we reached there around 6 pm when people are rushing to go home. Thank God there's this cute little girl sitting in front of me playing wiht me and my cousin. Baby's game, peak a boo, and whatever not.. hehe. Quite entertaining, if not the bus ride will be dull.

Upon reaching Puduraya, called my father using the money eating public phone so that someone would fetch us. While waiting, ate at KFC as we were quite famished. Quite surprised that at KFC over there there's nasi ayam. Well, It's a malay dominated country. Saw a familar face entering KFC. It was Macha (brother in law), my 2nd cousin's husband. He came just as we finished our meal. He brought his wife and 2 adorable daughters. The elder one kept asking for kooli. Then I asked my 2nd cousin, kooli tu ayam eh? and my guess it's correct. hehe, biasalah budak-budak.. soo cute. In the car, that little girl sang tamil songs. soo cute. When i asked her something in Malay, She answered in Tamil. -__- Nevermind, she hasn't go to school yet. heh.

Upon reaching my aunt's house, my mom greeted me at the door. So sweet. padahal baru 5 hari tak jumpa. tsktsk.. she hugged me so tight. hehe. macam mana lah nanti kalau nak sambung belajar? hmm. Then, quickly freshen up because my 2nd aunt's had a small gathering because we haven't visit her house yet although it has been several years she had asked to come to her house. -_- During my stay here, there's never a shortage of food. Oh my weight! huhu.

5th december, Saturday.

My first morning in KL. Woke up quite late, Being a traveler is quite tiring. Had my brunch and whatsoever. In the evening played badminton with them. It's been long since I played any sports but I had a great time playing, although my arm was feeling quite sore after that. Had my bath but was feeling tired and sick so decided to lie down while the others were preparing to go to the restaurant. (Fyi, the resturant refers to my aunt's family restaurant.) Woke up in the night and felt feverish. I prayed that I would not get sick because i'm having my holidays. huhu. But it's up to fate. Ate a bit, and took medicine and went to bed, hoping to feel better the next day.

6th december, Sunday.

Alhamdulillah, the fever's gone but was having a sore throat and terrible cough. I didn't let my sickness get over me and still played badminton that evening. hehe. Initially, my parents planned to go back home with two of my brothers at night but since my mother was feeling unwell, it was postponed to the next day. I got the chance to go to the restaurant since I was feeling better. All of us went to the restaurant except for my mom and grandma. It has been a year since the last time I was there, and the food's getting better. It was delicious. Yummy yum! I ate garlic and cheese naan and slurp some tomyum soup that my father ordered. Just drank tea as my throat hurts. huhu. The juices are nice too! If any of you guys are coming down to KL, do drop by Shabistan restaurant at wangsa maju KL, near carefour wangsa maju. Sempat pula promote. hehe. Although some of the orders came quite late, the food was superb. burp, alhamdulillah.

7th december, Monday.

The day my parents went home. They had to go home as my brother is home alone, and he is 17 years old. -_- It was a pity because my aunt's family was planning to go on a holiday somewhere in Malaysia. They headed home in the afternoon and it's left with me and my brother who had just finished his o levels. It's time for us to enjoy! woohoo~~~

Although it's still uncertain that we'll be going there but I just hope for the best. It's the place I've never imagined that I'll be going that soon. It's like a dream.

At night, it's confirmed that we'll be going there, and we'll depart early in the morning. The girl's room was like tokang pecah! It's like the place had been ransacked to the core. Me and my cousin shared a luggage. I was really excited. I really miss nature. Can't wait to be there! =D

To be continued...

It's quite hard recalling much and i'm tired typing.. hehe. So wait for my next entry post aites!! =D

That's all from me for now.

and i'm lovin' life!

salaam everyone!!

I just can't believe that I'm already having my holidays. It's great to be away from home for some time as I know that my chores and work in Singapore is waiting for me already. Love staying here but misses home quite as much. It has been 9 days since I'm away from home and I can't believe how time flies when it's the holidays. -_-

There's a lot to talk about but not now. hehe. I'm still not sure when I'll be back, so if there's any urgency get my malaysia number from murni aites!

Hmm.. been thinking if I should visit UIA these few days, but I'm not sure if I've the time. I'm already in KL, so it's better if I drop by.

There are a few things that I haven't done yet, including shopping!! hehe.. Although I've been coughing like hell until I lose my voice, I'm glad that I'm happy and living life to the fullest. Have a great time everybody!

That's all from me for now. =)

moving on

salam

Everything seems so sudden. My life in mwti has really come to an end. When I entered mwti last week, there was a surge of feeling. The building may be quite empty, but, it was a place where a lot.. and I really mean a lot of things had happen. This is the place where I've known a lot of interesting people and where i've mature to become a wiser person ( although sometimes I get really confused with life). Although it is hard to admit, I do miss mwti, especially the students and teachers. The time has come to move on to the next phase of life. It is even more harder than before. Well, Insya Allah, He will guide me to the right path that I should be.

I miss studying in the school environment. I just can't believe it is almost over. Planning to do a lot of things already, but will it be fulfilled. I really hope part of it will be fulfilled. We can only plan what's best, but it is up to Him to decide. i should not give up without trying.

Now, I really miss the bond that I had with fellow mspians. It is true that the bond will get stronger if we stayed together, even for a short while. Medan was the most memorable trip, and although not all can make it, we are still close as ever. All the best in life my dear mspians.

I don't know what's wrong with me today. Was feeling damn nervous until I was shivering. Soo unlike me. Last paper was okay, like the rest. Not too easy, not very hard. This is what you called the A levels, no easy way out. haha.

Will be going for holidays pretty soon. Not sure for how long. Depends on my mood, I guess. Want to destress not only from studies, but from other factors that make me stress. Ouh and I need to try my very best not to gain weight during the holidays.. huhu. If there's anything, just email me. I will still be online some of the time. =)

I need to accept the reality of things, the reality that I'm nobody to some, and be grateful for the things that I already have. I should not expect too much and not be selfish. The reality is I can't have all the happiness, I need only some of it and forgo some of it. It was never mine in the first place.

Ya Allah, Engkau tenteramkan jiwaku ini, dan hilangkan segala keresahan di dalam diri ku ini. Ku harus Redha dengan ketentuanMu.

That's all from me for now.

i'm ok =)

salaam dear readers!

Ignore the previous post. I don't know what i was thinking writing that. Maybe too much emotions going through during that time. And maybe, a result of thinking too much.

Not all the people I know, or those who know me, will love or even like me. Why should I care right? I realise, while I was reading back all the smses that are in my hp that there are a bunch of people out there who loves me, who cares for me.

I would like to thank, again, all those who had wished me because of 2410. Your wishes brighten up my day. =)

I am trying to get rid of the pessimism and increase the volume of optimism. I'm glad that I decided to go for arabic lessons. It boost my confidence a bit. And with my father keeping on saying that last year's H1 maths pure mathematics section is easy, It has influenced me a bit to believe in that statement. Haha.

Left with gp. Can I make it? I'm scared.

With Allah's help. Anything is possible. =)

I love my family and friends. Thanks for everything.

That's all from me for now.

7 days

salaam,

It is really hard to believe, but it is one more week, 7 days, 168 hrs to A LEVELS. How I wish I was dreaming and when I wake up, I'm still in pre-u 1. Knocking my head, or better still I need to bang my head against the wall. Why? Because I know I'm not ready yet, not even as ready when I was taking my O’s and it's the big A and I'm not ready. I am not what I used to be anymore. I feel quite useless, thinking that all I can blame is myself, my only self. I know I need to change, but.. I don't feel like it. Funny isn't it? Funny in a scary manner. Deep, I mean, really deep down inside, I feel like giving up but I know I can't. Firstly it's the money. My parents had forked out six hundred plus for my A's and I want to give up? Gosh, what was I thinking. Secondly, I just can't give up, the thought is there but I can't make myself do it. On the other hand, although I'm not giving up, I'm not giving my best either. Weird. I'm between giving up and giving my best. So how? I just realise this while I'm typing away. Haha. I still can't figure what's wrong with me and seven days left.

Besides that, I've created a problem and it's bugging me ever since. This is what happens if you mind other people's business, in short, kepoh. Hah. I know, I should not dwell on this matter but the facts seem so true. I really need an explanation but how could I get an explanation from an unwilling party? I wish for a peace in mind. I'm still unsure if I could attain it.

Maybe, I'm just imagining this superficial problem. Maybe, I've misunderstood the facts. Maybe, I've dump myself in this mess that has got nothing to do with me. I think, I've reached a point whereby, I just don't care if I'm wrong, but I want things to be clear. Right now, I think I'm making a fool of myself. I'm the kind that cannot hide or fake my emotions. Whatever the explanation may be, I'll accept with open arms and I'll be contented, even if you say that you hate me, or I mean nothing to you, It's okay. Stop giving me the cold shoulder, I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry.

One more thing, I'm beginning to hate 2410. I'm just not happy with it. My mood is negative when I met that particular number. Maybe, I'm expecting too much. Oh God, I need to change. In needing of guidance. Always.

This is the result of not focusing and studying. I need to be focus. I should not give up. Never. Remember you old self and reflect on it. Get that high- spirited of you. Insya Allah, everything will be smooth. Forget those who make you sad and angry. Remember there are those who loves you, for who you are. They have high hopes for you, they care for you. You should never give up. Yes, I should not give up.

I feel a bit relieve pouring out. Sometimes, It is up to us to motivate ourselves because, it may come to a point that no one can motivate us. Life is a precious gift; therefore we need to live well. =)

That's all from me for now. =)

how I wish...

Salaam dear readers,

It is less then 3 week to A levels. How I wish that time could slow down for a moment. It is really hard to believe that my life in mwti is coming to an end. After looking and reading at the class blog.. I feel.. a tinge of sadness inside me. Why must the ending be now? Why must we be close when the ending is near? Why is it only now? There must be reasons behind this. Maybe we will be closer after graduation. Insya Allah.

To my dear pre-u twos, stay healthy and happy always. Let's do the best for our last test together. I believe that all of us can achieve our best with His help. I love all of you. Thanks for the friendship that you have given me.

~~~~~~~~~~

Last saturday was one of the best days I had this year. Besties, you are a bunch of friends that I treasured most. I believe, this ukhwah is lillahi taala. The reason we become the best of friends is truly amazing. We may not be contacting each other that much, as we had parted in the quest for knowledge, but, deep down I'll be praying for you and remembering you always. Take care k besties. =)

~~~~~~~~~~

Ouh, and I miss S5o7. Although got the chance to meet up with some yesterday, had little chance to talk to them. Someone said I've change. Do I? Hope I've change to become better, not worse. Hope they are doing fine in their own lives. =)

~~~~~~~~~~

Getting towards A levels is scary. I need to gear up. Let the last trial be the best one.

I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to school tomorrow. Maybe both?

I need a miracle, or someone that can really knock some sense into me.

I need to stand up on my own. Well, in the end it is just between me and Allah.

~~~~~~~~~~

That's all from me for now.

what happened?

salaam dearest people.

First of all, I hope it is not too late to wish my beloved readers eidul fitri mubarak! Let's pray that we get to meet the next Ramadhan. Ameen.

Next, as the title says, I really am not sure what's going on with my life. Firstly, I realized that the holidays has made me more lazier than usual. Next week is my A LEVELS PRELIMS, and what have I revised? NONE. The moment I start to study, I'll feel sleepy, and then I sleep. This has been the routine the past three days. Gosh, I feel like kicking myself hard. Maybe, just maybe, I'm at the bottom of the wheel.

I just can't understand myself. I've been waiting since last year to have the time to just focus on my studies, and when I've already been given the period of time to study, I just don't feel like it. It's annoying, especially the problem arises from me alone and the only one that I get to blame is me.

School's exam aka the ukhrawi exams has finished and although I’m quite relieve I’m not sure if the results are fulfilling. Well, I just hope I can get the minimum grade to qualify to enter any university in the world. k.. I think I'm exaggerating. But well, with the effort put in, it is a miracle if I ace any subjects.

Why am I sooo pessimist? I miss my old self. Oh God, when can I get my old self back? Or has my old self gone for good? Or is it hidden because it doesn’t have the will to shine?

I think I'm confused enough.

What I can say for sure that I'm happy to have an Iftar with my beloved Pre-U2 09, my beloved club and my dearest besties.

Not sure why I'm not into the festive mood this year. Not sure if I'll be celebrating Eid here next year.

And I think i miss nature too much. I need to clear my head. I feel like calling up a service that could clear my room.

Should I go tomorrow?

One thing for sure, I need to meet her to lift up my spirits.

Who can I trust? Only Allah for sure.

Too many random thoughts. Sorry for the confusion caused. I'm confused myself.

That's all from me for now.

and i feel i can fly =)

Salam to all...

I've been meaning to blog the past two days, but I've been quite busy (as usual). This post may be the last post till I finish my A levels as i think there will be no more interesting things or updates about myself other that my most important studies.

I can't believe that the one year I've been waiting for it to end has ended. One year full of responsibilities, emotions and experiences. Being an assistant head prefect, vice president of a club and a mentor in unit ibadah and dakwah is a very heavy responsibility. I was unsure if I really could handle all this. It was quite hard for me in the beginning. But as time passes, each incident that happened to me is a lesson for me to learn and reflect on. I can't say that I had a great time holding all these responsibilities and neither could I say that I was really depressed. Yes, I was stressed, a couple of times but this makes me stronger. I could say for sure, that I've tried my best in coping with all these responsibilities. This one year has changed me from who I was before in my previous school. The experiences that I get for this one year is priceless. Maybe I wasn't the best from the previous batches, but I've tried my best in holding these responsibilities. I had many more ambitions, but time is not on my side. I hope the next batch will do their best.

To the one that has been through with me ups and downs in all these 3 posts that was given to us one year ago, thank you. Thank you for not giving up, for your understanding and patience. Thanks for believing in me. May Allah bless you.

To the one that has given me the post as an assistant Head Prefect, thank you for believing in me, trusting me with this big responsibility and guiding me while you can, giving me motivations when I was really down. Thanks for always encouraging me to do the best that I can.

To the one that has helped me out a lot since just before I enter mwti, my beloved elder sister, friend and senior in both schools, thank you for the advice that you had given me while you can, the positive things that you pointed out when I was in mwti and giving me hope and love. I miss you so much.

To the one who left me halfway last year, thank you for the attention you had given me although we are not in the same school anymore. Thanks for lending me your ear and your humble advices. May our friendship continue, lillahi ta'ala.

To the one that I've been close to since I was in sec 3, thank you for knocking me in the head several times and making me realise some things. You may think that you had not done anything, but you taught me a lot in life indirectly. I will always love you no matter what.

To the one that I just got to know in mwti, the one that I always scold for not eating, thank you for your encouraging words when I was really down, for supporting me all the way and guiding me when I feel there is no way out. Thank you. Sorry if sometimes I was too harsh on you.

To my besties, thank you for always being there for me when I need you. thanks for showering me with your care and concern. I love you all. =D

To my fellow classmates, Thank you for your support and kind attention towards me. May our ukhwah doesn't end here.

To last year pre-u twos, you guys are a bunch of seniors that I would not forget. Thank you for the friendship. I had a lot of fun when you guys were around!

To me beloved juniors, thank you for teaching me things that I never knew, for the support that you guys had given me, for your love, although I'm just a new student. And those 'problematic' juniors, you are the ones that make the most impact in my life. Whatever it is, I love you all.

To my beloved form teacher who chose me to enter an arabic debate although I quite resented in the first place, thank you for making me realise a lot of things. Ustaz, your words always make me think. Your advice had help me improve in mwti. I will always remember you. Insya Allah.

To the teacher that made me love sastera, thank you for your encouragement and the belief that you had on me although I'm a new student in mwti. Thank you Cikgu. =)

To the pre-u ones students, I understand the emotions that are running through you right now. My advice is, do your very best, without neglecting your studies. Whatever hardship that you are faced with, look at the bright side and the positive things even it is very small. Believe me, the experience that you get is priceless. The most important thing is, be good role models to your juniors because after us, you are the ones they will look up to. You can't change the school, but you can change yourselves. =)

Last but not least, I thank God for this opportunity. I love you Allah. You know what is best for me.

That's all from me for now. =)

my feelings for today.. express in a song... =)

Oh bulan, enggan melayan diriku lagi
pabila,
air mata membasahi pipi
dan lagu2 di radio seolah2 memerli aku
pabila,
kau bersama yg lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku

ku enggan
berpura pura ku bahagia
ku enggan
melihat kau bersama si dia
oh ku akui cemburu
mula menular dalam diri
pabila
kau bersama yang lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku

pabila kau merenung matanya
ku rebah,
jatuh ke bumi..........
di saat kau benar-benar mahu pergi
seperti ku bernafas dalam air
adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu kau juga merindui aku
oh
dan sebenarnya...
aku rindu......
dan sebenarnya....
dan sebenarnya....
aku tak mampu........

yuna- dan sebenarnya.

Thanks to rhy I got hooked to this song. =)

That's all from me for now.

what a day

salam everyone!

What a day I had today. Felt many emotions for today. From happy to exhausted to angry to sad and then, back to normal. Here is the story.

I was happy when leymah ask if i want to go to the zoo or not, and of course, I answered yes! I'm feeling really bored at home and yeah, I know I need to study and all, but, I can't and don't ask why. So I took this opportunity to be happy and merry. I just want to get rid of all the negative vibes, emotions that I'm currently having. So, just now, went to the zoo with leymah, syazm and her bubbly little sister. Thanks to syazm that I get to enter the zoo for free! heh. Had a great time. Although there's only 4 of us but we were enjoying ourselves and we were never bored as syazm lil sis was cheerful and bubbly all the time. Thank God that the weather is just nice and the sun was not scorching hot for today. We tour the whole zoo. We took a lot of pictures with my camera and camera phone, leymah's and syazm's camera phone. So that's a lot of pictures. -pictures are available on facebook-

Went home at around 4 pm and boy, how tired and exhausted are we. Luckily we got seat in the bus as the bus driver stop exactly in front of me and leymah. we, being kiasu of course. hehe. Walk around Lot 1 for a while, although my feet is aching like mad and went home.

When I reached home, my brother really made me angry because of something. Well, it is usual for him to irritate me but I was really mad just now. well, I suppose I just need to have some patience in myself and maybe I was feeling quite tired after that trip. After that, I decided to surf the net to release some stress.

While surfing the net, I decided to go to his blog. After just reading this one line, I felt sad and heartbroken. I don't know the sahih-ness of that sentence but it really broke my heart. I felt it is the end.

But then, after a few seconds, everthing went back to normal. My emotions are stable. I am puzzled with my own self. But Alhamdulillah, this hearbroken is even shorter that before. I know, life has to move on and it is useless to dwell on things that we don't have control on. I am really thankful to Allah Almighty that make things work in such a way that even I don't understand. Alhamdulillah. Things happen for a reason. It is up to us to find out and to accept it. -redha-.

Lastly, I have a request to make. Please do not comment anything about him in the tagboard. Ask me directly ok people. Thanks. =)

That's all from me for now.

holidays are here!

salaam people...

it has been almost a month since I've updated my blog. Since I've been influence by my friends to have a facebook account, my blog seems a bit deserted.  kesian blog. heh. But well, blogging makes me want to pour out a lot of things.

Firstly, the holidays are here!! But, I'm not sure about my feelings. It feels great not going to school, it is not that I hate school, it's the journey that ticks me off. I feel quite free as there are minimal activities going on for me this holidays but, I feel empty inside. I don't know why. I want to study and learn but I don't have anything that can push me towards the goal. I don't know why I feel like this. A levels are worrying me. I really need to buck up. I am really bummed by my GP result. I feel that I could not achieve much this A levels. Ahhh, I need to get rid of these negative thoughts. I know that there's still time for me to buck up but then, I am feeling on the low side. My arabic is sooo bad. I know I'm not a language type of person, so does that mean that I can't score in my languages? Malay literature is scaring me because of the open book concept. It makes the examinations harder. I didn't regret dropping H2 maths but I don't know if I could score a distinction for H1 maths. I want it to improve. Having high expectations are good but the pressure is really weighing down on me. People may say that exams aren't everything but that statement does not make me any less scared. I really want to do my best for both ukhrawi and academic but again, pressures are weighing me down. I feel helpless. Ouh, people, don't bother about my rantings.. =)

Next, I wish Mwti bahas team will make it to the next round!! beat them up!! May you guys succeed, Insya Allah.  Do your best, and never give up! 

I'm glad that two of my teachers had gotten married. It feels touching and heartwarming seeing people getting married and having a family. It is not easy to get married these days. I pray for their blessed life, Insya allah. All the best, Mdm (ehem) Z and husband, and Mr G and wife. =D

Lastly, I love Allah. 

That's all from me for now.

salam..

I'll admit. I love tamil movies. I don't know why, maybe it's just because it's in my blood. heh. Although there's a lot of songs and the superficial fights i still love it. As it has been quite a long time I haven't watch tamil movies, because of my busy schedule throughout the week, i decided to watch one yesterday night. (although I'm having exams right now... opppss..) But then, It was quite disappointing as it had a sad ending. I feel I've wasted my time. tulah.. ni lah akibat malas belajar. As I was not satisfied, I watched another one just now, and again, another disappointment. kan.. padan muka. I watched tv to let go of my stress but it seems I was even more stress. haha. 

Then, it hit me. The cold hard truth. Life's like that. Life is not a rosy bed of roses. Life doesn't always have a happy ending. Life is not easy. There's ups and downs. But then, it is up to us to decide the life that we want to live in. If we perceive life negatively, then life will be harder on us. There's no harm thinking positively right? We should work hard to attain the best of life. Whatever befall us, be it good or bad, is just a test for us from God. We should not be deterred or give up to achieve what we want. In the end, we are the ones responsible for our life. 

So live your life the way you want it- as long as it confers with the rules and regulation of our beloved religion. Be happy always. Take care people. =)

P.s I'm watching another tamil movie =p

(Caution: this kind of attitude should not be followed)

That's all from me for now. 

Salam people of the world!

First of all, sorry for not updating for so long. There's a lot of things I wish to share, but well, time is not on my side. 

Actually I'm having my tests throughout this whole two weeks but I feel like updating so here it goes.

The English week had just passed. I was quite nervous but excited as it was the first major event for my club. I'm thankful for having such wonderful excos with such superb ideas. Thanks guys. I don't know what will happen without you all.  

The whole week was quite smooth except for the closing ceremony on Saturday. It really test my patience. Actually, it was quite expected. Things are bound to happen. We may be the ones who plan, but ultimately, it is up to Him to decide. At the end of the day, I'm thankful to Him for whatever that had befall on me. In the end, it is up to me to perceive  the problems that I faced positively or negatively. Here are some pictures. =)

What are they looking at?

The ceiling!

The theme: English, Just speak it! =)

Quiz: enthusiastic Secondary ones.

The debate.

Closing ceremony.

If you guys are wondering why there is a dikir barat performance during the closing ceremony, it is actually on the the performances from MGT. ( Mwti Got Talent) Heh. Cool right. They did the dikir in English of course. A nice fusion. I took videos during the closing ceremony with the help of my friends but I haven't upload them to my lappie. Will do soon. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wonder... why do people, especially teenagers like to swear and utter bad words. 

I wonder... why is it so easy to utter bad stuffs than the good stuff. If words can hurt physically, then I'm sure that my ears will bleed every time I hear those kind of stuffs.

I wonder... don't they feel anything when uttering bad, hurtful words?

Time changes but morals stay.

Don't ever forgo the morals, the good values that we have learn from young just because we want to keep up with the modern world. Morals is not only saying what is right and good but also do what is right, as in our actions. Don't ever let go of the Islamic teaching that we have learn throughout our life. It is a waste not practising what we learnt. Knowing and not practising is worse than those who don't know and not practising. We need not change ourselves to suit to the modern world. We should suit the modern world to our own self; to our religion.

I too make mistakes. Pardon me for any wrongdoings. 

Remember, God is always there for people who remember Him. 

Take care people.

That's all from me for now. 

come back

Salam people!

It has been nearly 3 weeks since the last post. Sorry dear readers for not updating. Usual reason I guess. heh. Since the school holidays, a lot of things have been happening to me.

At last, on the 19th of march, I get to go out with my girlfriends!! Although we were really undecided where we will be eating, we decided on Secret Recipe and fyi, Secret Recipe wasn't even in our list of makan places! Of course, we chit chat.. and many secrets were told and I really had a great time. Thanks =)

love cheesecakes!!! =D

After school reopens, homework's, assignments keep stacking up. Well, I just need to manage my time properly.

On the 27th of march was the finals for the Arabic debate. It is just a competition inside school. It has been a blessing for me. Here is the story.

I was appalled when ustaz chose me to enter the debate. One, it can be clearly seen that my arabic s***s and my confidence level falls immediately when it's arabic. Two, I've never debated in front of so many people. Three, I rarely spoke arabic. I just can't understand the rationale of Ustaz choosing me as a debater, an arabic debater when there's clearly many more in the class better than me. I don't know why i just kept quiet when Ustaz asked if I'm ok with his decision. I just agreed, unwillingly at first. I realized later that I've made the right choice.

When I kept thinking about it, maybe this is the time for me to brush up on my arabic, maybe, this is the starting point for me to be serious in my arabic, and just maybe it is a sign from God.

For me, whatever I'm doing, I'll try to do my very best. Although it is not my choice to enter the debate but I've promised to myself to do my best. I never expected to win, but Alhamdulillah, I managed to get to the finals by just 1 point. I was just lucky, I guess. I have lots of grammar mistakes and I kept looking at my text. I don't know if I was happy or unhappy with the result. Well, I need to through the ordeal one more time. It is excruciating. Believe me.

I wasn't really prepared for the finals but I tried to make the best of it. I just hope that I'll present better this time round. I did not expect my group to win as there are two experienced debaters in the opponent's group. The day finally came. We had to wear blazers. I was coughing really hard as I was really nervous. Alhamdulillah, I managed to keep my cool on the stage.

Time flew by very fast on the stage. I was relieved. I just don't care what the results were. when it is announced that the best speaker is from my group, I was sure that the opponent's group had won. When they announced the winning group, I was confused, even my group members. The results were not really clear. When they repeated that it was our group that had won, I thank God for the chance that has been given to me. All my efforts had not gone to waste. Alhamdulillah.

After the debate, i believe that even though we are not good or expert in something, unless we faced it, we will never know what our capabilities are. We should have the courage to do things that we are not good at. We should not just be contented with what we are good at but we should try out new things.

That's all from me for now. =)

Salam people..

Since many of my readers are awaiting for an update.. here it goes. But warning, this is a very boring post. =p

1st of all.. I'm really glad that school holidays has arrived.I was quite disappointed that I couldn't go the rebutia camp but I felt that I need to manage my time really well these holidays. I really hope that I'll spend my holidays fruitfully. Insya Allah.

A levels is just around the corner.. I really hope that I'll do my best. Same goes to my fellow classmates and fellow Irsyadians who are taking their A levels this year. I just need to stop procrastinating and start studying. A levels will determine my future, what I'll be and the path I will tread the rest of my life.

Ouh.. and I think that I'm having a writer's block. Don't know what to write. Well.. just wait for my next post. I'm sounding so lame here.

That's all from me for now.

Take care people. =)

A malay post

Assalamualaikum semua!


Hari ini, saya telah memilih untuk menaip di dalam bahasa melayu. hee~~

Hari ini, saya telah melakukan perkara yang tidak pernah saya buat. Ingin tahu? Saya telah memegang dan mengusap kucing. Mungkin pada awak semua ia satu perkara yang biasa-biasa sahaja, tetapi pada saya ini adalah satu perubahan yang sangat ketara pada diri saya.


Saya sebenarnya bukanlah takut dengan kucing. Saya tak adalah larikan diri kalau saya ternampak kucing ataupun teriak ketakutan. Saya cuma segan sahaja dengan kucing dan bersifat neutral, tidak suka dan tidak pula membenci.

Baru- baru ini, seekor kucing berwarna kelabu suka sangat lepak di depan rumah saya. Adik saya pun memberikan makan dan minum kepada kucing tersebut. Saya pula masih bersikap neutral, tidak menghiraukan sangat dengan kehadiran kucing tersebut. Setiap pagi, apabila saya hendak ke sekolah, mesti kucing tersebut ada di depan pintu rumah.

Lama- kelamaan, saya berasa senang dengan kehadiran kucing tersebut. Entah kenapa, saya pun kurang pasti. Dan pada hari inilah saya telah memberanikan diri untuk memegang kucing tersebut. Kucing itu sangat manja comel. Saya berasa gembira kerana sudah tidak takut lagi untuk memegang kucing.

Satu perubahan yang saya sendiri tidak raa akan terjadi. Mungkin ini adalah petanda. =p

......

Ouhk. It feels a bit weird talking, I mean typing in malay. hehe. It's ok, I guess. Afterall, Malay is my mother tongue. =)

These two dear friends of mine had tagged me... so here it goes.. =)

100 Truths.

001. Real name - Radhiah

002. Nickname(s) - rodhi, rody, radhi, rodz, rodeh, raden, dodie=p

004. Zodiac sign - Scorpio

005.Male or female- Female

006. Elementary School - Madrasah Al-Irsyad Al-Islamiah

007. Middle School - Madrasah Al-Irsyad Al-Islamiah

008.High School - Madrasah Wak Tanjong Al-Islamiah.

Eyes color - Dark brown

010. Hair color - .......

011. Long or short - hmmm....

012. Loud or Quiet - sometimes loud, sometimes quiet, it depends on the place and the mood.

013. Sweats or Jeans - Jeans

014. Phone or Camera - Phone, coz my camera phone is cooler than my camera and the functions are great!

015. Health freak -no

016. Drink or Smoke? - Drink what? Drinking plain water is fine.. hehehe

017. Do you have a crush on someone? - Ahh...

18. Eat or Drink - If I need to choose then I'll just drink, because food can be liquidfied.. hehe

020. Tattoos - Of course.. NOT! I'm grateful enough by what God has given me. =)

FIRSTS:

023. First piercing - none

024. First best friend - not sure.. Sec 1 i guess..

025. First award - when I was in K1 i guess, during sports day.

026. First crush - uhhh.. is it pri 4 or 5?

030. First big birthday - when I turned 1!! got a birthday cake with the shape of number 1. Ironically, I cried when I cut the cake (with the help of my parents)- shown in a picture..

CURRENTLY:

049. Eating - No

50. Drinking - No

52. I'm about to - Finish this thing

053. Listening to - The sound of fan in my room

. Plans for today - check if there's any homework and then go to sleep..

055. Waiting for - my father to finish tuition..

YOUR FUTURE:

058. Want kids? - Yes.. Insya Allah =)

059. Want to get married?- Yes Insya Allah.

060. Careers in mind - anything in the education sector.

WHICH IS BETTER?

068. Lips or eyes - Eyes

070. Shorter or taller? - taller

072. Romantic or spontaneous - can I choose both? =p

073. Nice stomach or nice arms - Nice arms

074. Sensitive or loud - Loud

075. Hook-up or relationship - depends

076. Trouble maker or hesitant - can I choose neither.. ? =p

HAVE YOU EVER:

. Lost glasses/contacts -yes, lost my glasses once or twice.

081. Ran away from home - no and never will be.. I hope so.

082. Held a gun/knife for self defense - no

083. Killed somebody - N0o0o0o0o0o0

084. Broken someone's heart - Maybe, I'm not sure but I hope not..

085. Been arrested - Nope

087. Cried when someone died - Yes! When my paternal grandmother and my maternal granfather died within a 6 month time frame.

DO YOU BELIEVE:

089. Yourself - Yes

090. Miracles - Yes

091. Love at first sight - Yes

092. Heaven - Of course

093. Santa Claus - No

094. Sex on the first date - only when my first date is when after i've married.. =p

095. Kiss on the first date- same as above

TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now - yes

98. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life - yes.. I'm grateful that i've gone this far and still surviving. =)

099. Do you believe in God - Of course!

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 5 people.
any 5 ppl who's willing to do this.. hehe.. =)

Thats all from me for now. =)

Why bother?

Salam.

I've realise how hard it is being a pre-u 2 student. It's hard. It's really hard. The problems, the workload, the responsibilties and not forgetting the studies itself. Juggling these things and balancing at the same time is impossible without practice, just like a juggler trying to balance 4 balls for the first time. Without help and practice it's impossible to succeed. Can I succeed. God willing.

By the way, Mind Your Language has never failed to make me laugh. Makes me forget about my porblems and stress for a while. =)

That's all from me for now.

Salam everyone!

Time is catching up really fast. It's me who has difficulty catching up with time. A levels is just a few months away and I haven't started revising a single thing. I should realise that this is the BIG A. This 2 years is very important. 1 year had passed, just a few months more to go...

Moving on, the pre-u ones has finally entered MWTI. At last.. haha. Their batch is one third more than us. It was interesting meeting the new batch. =) Nothing much to say, I'm just happy.

Last Saturday was MWTI's Haflah plus graduation day for the pre-u twos 2008. I woke up at five but decided to snooze, but then I woke up at 5.45! Gosh, I was really late, need to take the cab as I can't afford to come late anymore. Fifteen dollar gone. Sheesh.

After settling down in the Musollah, the haflah began. I decided to take some pictures. After switching on the camera, I realise that I forgot to put the memory card. What a waste but well, there were many others who brought cameras. hehe. Even Aini brought a camera. cute kan.. hehe=)

The last programme was the pre-u twos convo. Then I realise, in just one more year I'll graduate. I don't know if I'm looking forward to graduation day. Hmm.. let A levels pass first. Took lots of pictures with the pre-u twos.

Then went to Bras Basah with rhy to survey some things. By the way, the Mcdonalds near Bras Basah is sooo cool!! The deco, the chairs is of standard. woo~~ Try going there.

Quote for the day: Duty makes us do things well, but love makes us do them beautifully. =)

That's all from me for now.

Picture time!

salam everyone.

I'm feeling bored. It's not that I've nothing to do but I want to do something different. As this blog seems too wordy with no pictures, I thought of posting pictures that I have one my lappie.

Enjoy...

reminiscence.

Sec 5 Ihsan 07- the back of the class.

The class's flag.

Dah arwah dah butterfly ni.. =p


Nice.


Konon style uh pose.fyi- this pic is taken candid.

Da macam paparazzi da satu-satu. haha. =D

Tranquility

The breaking of dawn.

The reflection of light.

The wonders of nature.

=)

Note: this picture is not edited.

Those of the lucky few that could come to my house. =p

The view outside Pre-U 1.1 class '08.

Speechless.....

At the canteen...

Search for me! =p

STE buddies.. =)

Love the sky. Subhanallah. =)

By the beach....

Missing her.

That's all from me for now.