my feelings for today.. express in a song... =)

Oh bulan, enggan melayan diriku lagi
pabila,
air mata membasahi pipi
dan lagu2 di radio seolah2 memerli aku
pabila,
kau bersama yg lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku

ku enggan
berpura pura ku bahagia
ku enggan
melihat kau bersama si dia
oh ku akui cemburu
mula menular dalam diri
pabila
kau bersama yang lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku

pabila kau merenung matanya
ku rebah,
jatuh ke bumi..........
di saat kau benar-benar mahu pergi
seperti ku bernafas dalam air
adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu kau juga merindui aku
oh
dan sebenarnya...
aku rindu......
dan sebenarnya....
dan sebenarnya....
aku tak mampu........

yuna- dan sebenarnya.

Thanks to rhy I got hooked to this song. =)

That's all from me for now.

what a day

salam everyone!

What a day I had today. Felt many emotions for today. From happy to exhausted to angry to sad and then, back to normal. Here is the story.

I was happy when leymah ask if i want to go to the zoo or not, and of course, I answered yes! I'm feeling really bored at home and yeah, I know I need to study and all, but, I can't and don't ask why. So I took this opportunity to be happy and merry. I just want to get rid of all the negative vibes, emotions that I'm currently having. So, just now, went to the zoo with leymah, syazm and her bubbly little sister. Thanks to syazm that I get to enter the zoo for free! heh. Had a great time. Although there's only 4 of us but we were enjoying ourselves and we were never bored as syazm lil sis was cheerful and bubbly all the time. Thank God that the weather is just nice and the sun was not scorching hot for today. We tour the whole zoo. We took a lot of pictures with my camera and camera phone, leymah's and syazm's camera phone. So that's a lot of pictures. -pictures are available on facebook-

Went home at around 4 pm and boy, how tired and exhausted are we. Luckily we got seat in the bus as the bus driver stop exactly in front of me and leymah. we, being kiasu of course. hehe. Walk around Lot 1 for a while, although my feet is aching like mad and went home.

When I reached home, my brother really made me angry because of something. Well, it is usual for him to irritate me but I was really mad just now. well, I suppose I just need to have some patience in myself and maybe I was feeling quite tired after that trip. After that, I decided to surf the net to release some stress.

While surfing the net, I decided to go to his blog. After just reading this one line, I felt sad and heartbroken. I don't know the sahih-ness of that sentence but it really broke my heart. I felt it is the end.

But then, after a few seconds, everthing went back to normal. My emotions are stable. I am puzzled with my own self. But Alhamdulillah, this hearbroken is even shorter that before. I know, life has to move on and it is useless to dwell on things that we don't have control on. I am really thankful to Allah Almighty that make things work in such a way that even I don't understand. Alhamdulillah. Things happen for a reason. It is up to us to find out and to accept it. -redha-.

Lastly, I have a request to make. Please do not comment anything about him in the tagboard. Ask me directly ok people. Thanks. =)

That's all from me for now.

holidays are here!

salaam people...

it has been almost a month since I've updated my blog. Since I've been influence by my friends to have a facebook account, my blog seems a bit deserted.  kesian blog. heh. But well, blogging makes me want to pour out a lot of things.

Firstly, the holidays are here!! But, I'm not sure about my feelings. It feels great not going to school, it is not that I hate school, it's the journey that ticks me off. I feel quite free as there are minimal activities going on for me this holidays but, I feel empty inside. I don't know why. I want to study and learn but I don't have anything that can push me towards the goal. I don't know why I feel like this. A levels are worrying me. I really need to buck up. I am really bummed by my GP result. I feel that I could not achieve much this A levels. Ahhh, I need to get rid of these negative thoughts. I know that there's still time for me to buck up but then, I am feeling on the low side. My arabic is sooo bad. I know I'm not a language type of person, so does that mean that I can't score in my languages? Malay literature is scaring me because of the open book concept. It makes the examinations harder. I didn't regret dropping H2 maths but I don't know if I could score a distinction for H1 maths. I want it to improve. Having high expectations are good but the pressure is really weighing down on me. People may say that exams aren't everything but that statement does not make me any less scared. I really want to do my best for both ukhrawi and academic but again, pressures are weighing me down. I feel helpless. Ouh, people, don't bother about my rantings.. =)

Next, I wish Mwti bahas team will make it to the next round!! beat them up!! May you guys succeed, Insya Allah.  Do your best, and never give up! 

I'm glad that two of my teachers had gotten married. It feels touching and heartwarming seeing people getting married and having a family. It is not easy to get married these days. I pray for their blessed life, Insya allah. All the best, Mdm (ehem) Z and husband, and Mr G and wife. =D

Lastly, I love Allah. 

That's all from me for now.