what a wonderful time

Salaam people!!

The holidays that I had was really great. Although I was sick since the beginning of the trip, I had fun. And although there were some things that I didn't get to do, I feel blessed. Blessed that God has given me the gift to see, to see the wonders of his creation.

Okay, let's start with the day I finished my last paper. 2nd December, Wednesday.

I was feeling really upset after doing my last paper without any real reason for being that upset. My initial plan was to just follow what the girls had plan to do after the last paper, just eat and chilled. I didn't had a proper breakfast and lunch, since the paper was at 2pm. But after doing that last paper, suddenly, I had no mood at all to do anything, and there was this negative vibe inside me. I just decided to go home at the spur of the moment. Then, in the bus, after I called nenek, was feeling a bit okay, and I don't know why, but I'm really glad I didn't follow the girls. Bought some food and went home. Maybe the emptiness had crept inside me. Well, before, I was so full with my studies, school life and friends, but I feel after that last paper, everything had come to an end.

3rd December, Thursday.

I was suppose to go to KL today with nenek but was not that ready yet, haven't pack a single stuff and two of my cousins are coming over to go to KL with us. Then bapa called and asked me to buy the ticket today so that I will not be in hurry tomorrow to buy the ticket. I was wondering how am I suppose to go to Larkin alone to buy the bus tickets, my brother is in school and it was a last minute thing to ask any of my friends to accompany me. In the end, nenek was the one. Kesian nenek, susah dapat cucu yang pengecut. heh. At Larkin, I was contemplating which time should I choose because there is a MSP meet up tomorrow. In the end, after much thought, I took the 2pm bus as I think that even if I took the night bus, maybe I will not have enough time to make it.

After that, in the afternoon, ask Farahin out as it was quite long since we last met up, it's a pity that Fathin and Jam couldn't make it. I need to buy a pair of casual shoes as my school shoes just gave way. I usually buy lady like shoes at Joo Chiat Complex due to my big foot, but one of my friends suggest CottonOn. Was quite lazy to go all the way to Geylang. Thank God there's a CottonOn outlet at Causeway Point. So meet Farahin around 3pm and we hugged like it's been ages. haha. Farahin was such a camwhore and I was a bit embarassed to take pictures publicly, like depan semua orang boleh nampak.. haha. but it's for a good friend of mine, so just tahan ajelah.. hehe. Ouh, and I had my first meal at Pastamania with her. The food's quite nice, but just not my kind. terlalu muak. but it's nice. heh. Pictures are available at facebook. =) Ouh and we shared a bunch of stories and secrets. hehe. soo sweet of you to tell me. She told me a lot of things about UIA, and it's tempting me to enter there, but I still have another choice, so I'm still considering.

It was really hectic during the night bacause packing up was never easy. It's harder when you are unsure how long you will be away. i just packed till my luggage got full. hah.

4th december, Friday.

At last!! My holiday trip!! I was really glad that I could get away from Singapore asap. I just feel relieved. Felt that I left all my sadness, negative feelings, burden, at home. The journey was smooth, Alhamdulillah, except for the peak hour jam in KL as we reached there around 6 pm when people are rushing to go home. Thank God there's this cute little girl sitting in front of me playing wiht me and my cousin. Baby's game, peak a boo, and whatever not.. hehe. Quite entertaining, if not the bus ride will be dull.

Upon reaching Puduraya, called my father using the money eating public phone so that someone would fetch us. While waiting, ate at KFC as we were quite famished. Quite surprised that at KFC over there there's nasi ayam. Well, It's a malay dominated country. Saw a familar face entering KFC. It was Macha (brother in law), my 2nd cousin's husband. He came just as we finished our meal. He brought his wife and 2 adorable daughters. The elder one kept asking for kooli. Then I asked my 2nd cousin, kooli tu ayam eh? and my guess it's correct. hehe, biasalah budak-budak.. soo cute. In the car, that little girl sang tamil songs. soo cute. When i asked her something in Malay, She answered in Tamil. -__- Nevermind, she hasn't go to school yet. heh.

Upon reaching my aunt's house, my mom greeted me at the door. So sweet. padahal baru 5 hari tak jumpa. tsktsk.. she hugged me so tight. hehe. macam mana lah nanti kalau nak sambung belajar? hmm. Then, quickly freshen up because my 2nd aunt's had a small gathering because we haven't visit her house yet although it has been several years she had asked to come to her house. -_- During my stay here, there's never a shortage of food. Oh my weight! huhu.

5th december, Saturday.

My first morning in KL. Woke up quite late, Being a traveler is quite tiring. Had my brunch and whatsoever. In the evening played badminton with them. It's been long since I played any sports but I had a great time playing, although my arm was feeling quite sore after that. Had my bath but was feeling tired and sick so decided to lie down while the others were preparing to go to the restaurant. (Fyi, the resturant refers to my aunt's family restaurant.) Woke up in the night and felt feverish. I prayed that I would not get sick because i'm having my holidays. huhu. But it's up to fate. Ate a bit, and took medicine and went to bed, hoping to feel better the next day.

6th december, Sunday.

Alhamdulillah, the fever's gone but was having a sore throat and terrible cough. I didn't let my sickness get over me and still played badminton that evening. hehe. Initially, my parents planned to go back home with two of my brothers at night but since my mother was feeling unwell, it was postponed to the next day. I got the chance to go to the restaurant since I was feeling better. All of us went to the restaurant except for my mom and grandma. It has been a year since the last time I was there, and the food's getting better. It was delicious. Yummy yum! I ate garlic and cheese naan and slurp some tomyum soup that my father ordered. Just drank tea as my throat hurts. huhu. The juices are nice too! If any of you guys are coming down to KL, do drop by Shabistan restaurant at wangsa maju KL, near carefour wangsa maju. Sempat pula promote. hehe. Although some of the orders came quite late, the food was superb. burp, alhamdulillah.

7th december, Monday.

The day my parents went home. They had to go home as my brother is home alone, and he is 17 years old. -_- It was a pity because my aunt's family was planning to go on a holiday somewhere in Malaysia. They headed home in the afternoon and it's left with me and my brother who had just finished his o levels. It's time for us to enjoy! woohoo~~~

Although it's still uncertain that we'll be going there but I just hope for the best. It's the place I've never imagined that I'll be going that soon. It's like a dream.

At night, it's confirmed that we'll be going there, and we'll depart early in the morning. The girl's room was like tokang pecah! It's like the place had been ransacked to the core. Me and my cousin shared a luggage. I was really excited. I really miss nature. Can't wait to be there! =D

To be continued...

It's quite hard recalling much and i'm tired typing.. hehe. So wait for my next entry post aites!! =D

That's all from me for now.

and i'm lovin' life!

salaam everyone!!

I just can't believe that I'm already having my holidays. It's great to be away from home for some time as I know that my chores and work in Singapore is waiting for me already. Love staying here but misses home quite as much. It has been 9 days since I'm away from home and I can't believe how time flies when it's the holidays. -_-

There's a lot to talk about but not now. hehe. I'm still not sure when I'll be back, so if there's any urgency get my malaysia number from murni aites!

Hmm.. been thinking if I should visit UIA these few days, but I'm not sure if I've the time. I'm already in KL, so it's better if I drop by.

There are a few things that I haven't done yet, including shopping!! hehe.. Although I've been coughing like hell until I lose my voice, I'm glad that I'm happy and living life to the fullest. Have a great time everybody!

That's all from me for now. =)

moving on

salam

Everything seems so sudden. My life in mwti has really come to an end. When I entered mwti last week, there was a surge of feeling. The building may be quite empty, but, it was a place where a lot.. and I really mean a lot of things had happen. This is the place where I've known a lot of interesting people and where i've mature to become a wiser person ( although sometimes I get really confused with life). Although it is hard to admit, I do miss mwti, especially the students and teachers. The time has come to move on to the next phase of life. It is even more harder than before. Well, Insya Allah, He will guide me to the right path that I should be.

I miss studying in the school environment. I just can't believe it is almost over. Planning to do a lot of things already, but will it be fulfilled. I really hope part of it will be fulfilled. We can only plan what's best, but it is up to Him to decide. i should not give up without trying.

Now, I really miss the bond that I had with fellow mspians. It is true that the bond will get stronger if we stayed together, even for a short while. Medan was the most memorable trip, and although not all can make it, we are still close as ever. All the best in life my dear mspians.

I don't know what's wrong with me today. Was feeling damn nervous until I was shivering. Soo unlike me. Last paper was okay, like the rest. Not too easy, not very hard. This is what you called the A levels, no easy way out. haha.

Will be going for holidays pretty soon. Not sure for how long. Depends on my mood, I guess. Want to destress not only from studies, but from other factors that make me stress. Ouh and I need to try my very best not to gain weight during the holidays.. huhu. If there's anything, just email me. I will still be online some of the time. =)

I need to accept the reality of things, the reality that I'm nobody to some, and be grateful for the things that I already have. I should not expect too much and not be selfish. The reality is I can't have all the happiness, I need only some of it and forgo some of it. It was never mine in the first place.

Ya Allah, Engkau tenteramkan jiwaku ini, dan hilangkan segala keresahan di dalam diri ku ini. Ku harus Redha dengan ketentuanMu.

That's all from me for now.

i'm ok =)

salaam dear readers!

Ignore the previous post. I don't know what i was thinking writing that. Maybe too much emotions going through during that time. And maybe, a result of thinking too much.

Not all the people I know, or those who know me, will love or even like me. Why should I care right? I realise, while I was reading back all the smses that are in my hp that there are a bunch of people out there who loves me, who cares for me.

I would like to thank, again, all those who had wished me because of 2410. Your wishes brighten up my day. =)

I am trying to get rid of the pessimism and increase the volume of optimism. I'm glad that I decided to go for arabic lessons. It boost my confidence a bit. And with my father keeping on saying that last year's H1 maths pure mathematics section is easy, It has influenced me a bit to believe in that statement. Haha.

Left with gp. Can I make it? I'm scared.

With Allah's help. Anything is possible. =)

I love my family and friends. Thanks for everything.

That's all from me for now.

7 days

salaam,

It is really hard to believe, but it is one more week, 7 days, 168 hrs to A LEVELS. How I wish I was dreaming and when I wake up, I'm still in pre-u 1. Knocking my head, or better still I need to bang my head against the wall. Why? Because I know I'm not ready yet, not even as ready when I was taking my O’s and it's the big A and I'm not ready. I am not what I used to be anymore. I feel quite useless, thinking that all I can blame is myself, my only self. I know I need to change, but.. I don't feel like it. Funny isn't it? Funny in a scary manner. Deep, I mean, really deep down inside, I feel like giving up but I know I can't. Firstly it's the money. My parents had forked out six hundred plus for my A's and I want to give up? Gosh, what was I thinking. Secondly, I just can't give up, the thought is there but I can't make myself do it. On the other hand, although I'm not giving up, I'm not giving my best either. Weird. I'm between giving up and giving my best. So how? I just realise this while I'm typing away. Haha. I still can't figure what's wrong with me and seven days left.

Besides that, I've created a problem and it's bugging me ever since. This is what happens if you mind other people's business, in short, kepoh. Hah. I know, I should not dwell on this matter but the facts seem so true. I really need an explanation but how could I get an explanation from an unwilling party? I wish for a peace in mind. I'm still unsure if I could attain it.

Maybe, I'm just imagining this superficial problem. Maybe, I've misunderstood the facts. Maybe, I've dump myself in this mess that has got nothing to do with me. I think, I've reached a point whereby, I just don't care if I'm wrong, but I want things to be clear. Right now, I think I'm making a fool of myself. I'm the kind that cannot hide or fake my emotions. Whatever the explanation may be, I'll accept with open arms and I'll be contented, even if you say that you hate me, or I mean nothing to you, It's okay. Stop giving me the cold shoulder, I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry.

One more thing, I'm beginning to hate 2410. I'm just not happy with it. My mood is negative when I met that particular number. Maybe, I'm expecting too much. Oh God, I need to change. In needing of guidance. Always.

This is the result of not focusing and studying. I need to be focus. I should not give up. Never. Remember you old self and reflect on it. Get that high- spirited of you. Insya Allah, everything will be smooth. Forget those who make you sad and angry. Remember there are those who loves you, for who you are. They have high hopes for you, they care for you. You should never give up. Yes, I should not give up.

I feel a bit relieve pouring out. Sometimes, It is up to us to motivate ourselves because, it may come to a point that no one can motivate us. Life is a precious gift; therefore we need to live well. =)

That's all from me for now. =)

how I wish...

Salaam dear readers,

It is less then 3 week to A levels. How I wish that time could slow down for a moment. It is really hard to believe that my life in mwti is coming to an end. After looking and reading at the class blog.. I feel.. a tinge of sadness inside me. Why must the ending be now? Why must we be close when the ending is near? Why is it only now? There must be reasons behind this. Maybe we will be closer after graduation. Insya Allah.

To my dear pre-u twos, stay healthy and happy always. Let's do the best for our last test together. I believe that all of us can achieve our best with His help. I love all of you. Thanks for the friendship that you have given me.

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Last saturday was one of the best days I had this year. Besties, you are a bunch of friends that I treasured most. I believe, this ukhwah is lillahi taala. The reason we become the best of friends is truly amazing. We may not be contacting each other that much, as we had parted in the quest for knowledge, but, deep down I'll be praying for you and remembering you always. Take care k besties. =)

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Ouh, and I miss S5o7. Although got the chance to meet up with some yesterday, had little chance to talk to them. Someone said I've change. Do I? Hope I've change to become better, not worse. Hope they are doing fine in their own lives. =)

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Getting towards A levels is scary. I need to gear up. Let the last trial be the best one.

I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to school tomorrow. Maybe both?

I need a miracle, or someone that can really knock some sense into me.

I need to stand up on my own. Well, in the end it is just between me and Allah.

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That's all from me for now.

what happened?

salaam dearest people.

First of all, I hope it is not too late to wish my beloved readers eidul fitri mubarak! Let's pray that we get to meet the next Ramadhan. Ameen.

Next, as the title says, I really am not sure what's going on with my life. Firstly, I realized that the holidays has made me more lazier than usual. Next week is my A LEVELS PRELIMS, and what have I revised? NONE. The moment I start to study, I'll feel sleepy, and then I sleep. This has been the routine the past three days. Gosh, I feel like kicking myself hard. Maybe, just maybe, I'm at the bottom of the wheel.

I just can't understand myself. I've been waiting since last year to have the time to just focus on my studies, and when I've already been given the period of time to study, I just don't feel like it. It's annoying, especially the problem arises from me alone and the only one that I get to blame is me.

School's exam aka the ukhrawi exams has finished and although I’m quite relieve I’m not sure if the results are fulfilling. Well, I just hope I can get the minimum grade to qualify to enter any university in the world. k.. I think I'm exaggerating. But well, with the effort put in, it is a miracle if I ace any subjects.

Why am I sooo pessimist? I miss my old self. Oh God, when can I get my old self back? Or has my old self gone for good? Or is it hidden because it doesn’t have the will to shine?

I think I'm confused enough.

What I can say for sure that I'm happy to have an Iftar with my beloved Pre-U2 09, my beloved club and my dearest besties.

Not sure why I'm not into the festive mood this year. Not sure if I'll be celebrating Eid here next year.

And I think i miss nature too much. I need to clear my head. I feel like calling up a service that could clear my room.

Should I go tomorrow?

One thing for sure, I need to meet her to lift up my spirits.

Who can I trust? Only Allah for sure.

Too many random thoughts. Sorry for the confusion caused. I'm confused myself.

That's all from me for now.