and i feel i can fly =)

Salam to all...

I've been meaning to blog the past two days, but I've been quite busy (as usual). This post may be the last post till I finish my A levels as i think there will be no more interesting things or updates about myself other that my most important studies.

I can't believe that the one year I've been waiting for it to end has ended. One year full of responsibilities, emotions and experiences. Being an assistant head prefect, vice president of a club and a mentor in unit ibadah and dakwah is a very heavy responsibility. I was unsure if I really could handle all this. It was quite hard for me in the beginning. But as time passes, each incident that happened to me is a lesson for me to learn and reflect on. I can't say that I had a great time holding all these responsibilities and neither could I say that I was really depressed. Yes, I was stressed, a couple of times but this makes me stronger. I could say for sure, that I've tried my best in coping with all these responsibilities. This one year has changed me from who I was before in my previous school. The experiences that I get for this one year is priceless. Maybe I wasn't the best from the previous batches, but I've tried my best in holding these responsibilities. I had many more ambitions, but time is not on my side. I hope the next batch will do their best.

To the one that has been through with me ups and downs in all these 3 posts that was given to us one year ago, thank you. Thank you for not giving up, for your understanding and patience. Thanks for believing in me. May Allah bless you.

To the one that has given me the post as an assistant Head Prefect, thank you for believing in me, trusting me with this big responsibility and guiding me while you can, giving me motivations when I was really down. Thanks for always encouraging me to do the best that I can.

To the one that has helped me out a lot since just before I enter mwti, my beloved elder sister, friend and senior in both schools, thank you for the advice that you had given me while you can, the positive things that you pointed out when I was in mwti and giving me hope and love. I miss you so much.

To the one who left me halfway last year, thank you for the attention you had given me although we are not in the same school anymore. Thanks for lending me your ear and your humble advices. May our friendship continue, lillahi ta'ala.

To the one that I've been close to since I was in sec 3, thank you for knocking me in the head several times and making me realise some things. You may think that you had not done anything, but you taught me a lot in life indirectly. I will always love you no matter what.

To the one that I just got to know in mwti, the one that I always scold for not eating, thank you for your encouraging words when I was really down, for supporting me all the way and guiding me when I feel there is no way out. Thank you. Sorry if sometimes I was too harsh on you.

To my besties, thank you for always being there for me when I need you. thanks for showering me with your care and concern. I love you all. =D

To my fellow classmates, Thank you for your support and kind attention towards me. May our ukhwah doesn't end here.

To last year pre-u twos, you guys are a bunch of seniors that I would not forget. Thank you for the friendship. I had a lot of fun when you guys were around!

To me beloved juniors, thank you for teaching me things that I never knew, for the support that you guys had given me, for your love, although I'm just a new student. And those 'problematic' juniors, you are the ones that make the most impact in my life. Whatever it is, I love you all.

To my beloved form teacher who chose me to enter an arabic debate although I quite resented in the first place, thank you for making me realise a lot of things. Ustaz, your words always make me think. Your advice had help me improve in mwti. I will always remember you. Insya Allah.

To the teacher that made me love sastera, thank you for your encouragement and the belief that you had on me although I'm a new student in mwti. Thank you Cikgu. =)

To the pre-u ones students, I understand the emotions that are running through you right now. My advice is, do your very best, without neglecting your studies. Whatever hardship that you are faced with, look at the bright side and the positive things even it is very small. Believe me, the experience that you get is priceless. The most important thing is, be good role models to your juniors because after us, you are the ones they will look up to. You can't change the school, but you can change yourselves. =)

Last but not least, I thank God for this opportunity. I love you Allah. You know what is best for me.

That's all from me for now. =)

my feelings for today.. express in a song... =)

Oh bulan, enggan melayan diriku lagi
pabila,
air mata membasahi pipi
dan lagu2 di radio seolah2 memerli aku
pabila,
kau bersama yg lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku

ku enggan
berpura pura ku bahagia
ku enggan
melihat kau bersama si dia
oh ku akui cemburu
mula menular dalam diri
pabila
kau bersama yang lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku

pabila kau merenung matanya
ku rebah,
jatuh ke bumi..........
di saat kau benar-benar mahu pergi
seperti ku bernafas dalam air
adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu kau juga merindui aku
oh
dan sebenarnya...
aku rindu......
dan sebenarnya....
dan sebenarnya....
aku tak mampu........

yuna- dan sebenarnya.

Thanks to rhy I got hooked to this song. =)

That's all from me for now.

what a day

salam everyone!

What a day I had today. Felt many emotions for today. From happy to exhausted to angry to sad and then, back to normal. Here is the story.

I was happy when leymah ask if i want to go to the zoo or not, and of course, I answered yes! I'm feeling really bored at home and yeah, I know I need to study and all, but, I can't and don't ask why. So I took this opportunity to be happy and merry. I just want to get rid of all the negative vibes, emotions that I'm currently having. So, just now, went to the zoo with leymah, syazm and her bubbly little sister. Thanks to syazm that I get to enter the zoo for free! heh. Had a great time. Although there's only 4 of us but we were enjoying ourselves and we were never bored as syazm lil sis was cheerful and bubbly all the time. Thank God that the weather is just nice and the sun was not scorching hot for today. We tour the whole zoo. We took a lot of pictures with my camera and camera phone, leymah's and syazm's camera phone. So that's a lot of pictures. -pictures are available on facebook-

Went home at around 4 pm and boy, how tired and exhausted are we. Luckily we got seat in the bus as the bus driver stop exactly in front of me and leymah. we, being kiasu of course. hehe. Walk around Lot 1 for a while, although my feet is aching like mad and went home.

When I reached home, my brother really made me angry because of something. Well, it is usual for him to irritate me but I was really mad just now. well, I suppose I just need to have some patience in myself and maybe I was feeling quite tired after that trip. After that, I decided to surf the net to release some stress.

While surfing the net, I decided to go to his blog. After just reading this one line, I felt sad and heartbroken. I don't know the sahih-ness of that sentence but it really broke my heart. I felt it is the end.

But then, after a few seconds, everthing went back to normal. My emotions are stable. I am puzzled with my own self. But Alhamdulillah, this hearbroken is even shorter that before. I know, life has to move on and it is useless to dwell on things that we don't have control on. I am really thankful to Allah Almighty that make things work in such a way that even I don't understand. Alhamdulillah. Things happen for a reason. It is up to us to find out and to accept it. -redha-.

Lastly, I have a request to make. Please do not comment anything about him in the tagboard. Ask me directly ok people. Thanks. =)

That's all from me for now.

holidays are here!

salaam people...

it has been almost a month since I've updated my blog. Since I've been influence by my friends to have a facebook account, my blog seems a bit deserted.  kesian blog. heh. But well, blogging makes me want to pour out a lot of things.

Firstly, the holidays are here!! But, I'm not sure about my feelings. It feels great not going to school, it is not that I hate school, it's the journey that ticks me off. I feel quite free as there are minimal activities going on for me this holidays but, I feel empty inside. I don't know why. I want to study and learn but I don't have anything that can push me towards the goal. I don't know why I feel like this. A levels are worrying me. I really need to buck up. I am really bummed by my GP result. I feel that I could not achieve much this A levels. Ahhh, I need to get rid of these negative thoughts. I know that there's still time for me to buck up but then, I am feeling on the low side. My arabic is sooo bad. I know I'm not a language type of person, so does that mean that I can't score in my languages? Malay literature is scaring me because of the open book concept. It makes the examinations harder. I didn't regret dropping H2 maths but I don't know if I could score a distinction for H1 maths. I want it to improve. Having high expectations are good but the pressure is really weighing down on me. People may say that exams aren't everything but that statement does not make me any less scared. I really want to do my best for both ukhrawi and academic but again, pressures are weighing me down. I feel helpless. Ouh, people, don't bother about my rantings.. =)

Next, I wish Mwti bahas team will make it to the next round!! beat them up!! May you guys succeed, Insya Allah.  Do your best, and never give up! 

I'm glad that two of my teachers had gotten married. It feels touching and heartwarming seeing people getting married and having a family. It is not easy to get married these days. I pray for their blessed life, Insya allah. All the best, Mdm (ehem) Z and husband, and Mr G and wife. =D

Lastly, I love Allah. 

That's all from me for now.

salam..

I'll admit. I love tamil movies. I don't know why, maybe it's just because it's in my blood. heh. Although there's a lot of songs and the superficial fights i still love it. As it has been quite a long time I haven't watch tamil movies, because of my busy schedule throughout the week, i decided to watch one yesterday night. (although I'm having exams right now... opppss..) But then, It was quite disappointing as it had a sad ending. I feel I've wasted my time. tulah.. ni lah akibat malas belajar. As I was not satisfied, I watched another one just now, and again, another disappointment. kan.. padan muka. I watched tv to let go of my stress but it seems I was even more stress. haha. 

Then, it hit me. The cold hard truth. Life's like that. Life is not a rosy bed of roses. Life doesn't always have a happy ending. Life is not easy. There's ups and downs. But then, it is up to us to decide the life that we want to live in. If we perceive life negatively, then life will be harder on us. There's no harm thinking positively right? We should work hard to attain the best of life. Whatever befall us, be it good or bad, is just a test for us from God. We should not be deterred or give up to achieve what we want. In the end, we are the ones responsible for our life. 

So live your life the way you want it- as long as it confers with the rules and regulation of our beloved religion. Be happy always. Take care people. =)

P.s I'm watching another tamil movie =p

(Caution: this kind of attitude should not be followed)

That's all from me for now. 

Salam people of the world!

First of all, sorry for not updating for so long. There's a lot of things I wish to share, but well, time is not on my side. 

Actually I'm having my tests throughout this whole two weeks but I feel like updating so here it goes.

The English week had just passed. I was quite nervous but excited as it was the first major event for my club. I'm thankful for having such wonderful excos with such superb ideas. Thanks guys. I don't know what will happen without you all.  

The whole week was quite smooth except for the closing ceremony on Saturday. It really test my patience. Actually, it was quite expected. Things are bound to happen. We may be the ones who plan, but ultimately, it is up to Him to decide. At the end of the day, I'm thankful to Him for whatever that had befall on me. In the end, it is up to me to perceive  the problems that I faced positively or negatively. Here are some pictures. =)

What are they looking at?

The ceiling!

The theme: English, Just speak it! =)

Quiz: enthusiastic Secondary ones.

The debate.

Closing ceremony.

If you guys are wondering why there is a dikir barat performance during the closing ceremony, it is actually on the the performances from MGT. ( Mwti Got Talent) Heh. Cool right. They did the dikir in English of course. A nice fusion. I took videos during the closing ceremony with the help of my friends but I haven't upload them to my lappie. Will do soon. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wonder... why do people, especially teenagers like to swear and utter bad words. 

I wonder... why is it so easy to utter bad stuffs than the good stuff. If words can hurt physically, then I'm sure that my ears will bleed every time I hear those kind of stuffs.

I wonder... don't they feel anything when uttering bad, hurtful words?

Time changes but morals stay.

Don't ever forgo the morals, the good values that we have learn from young just because we want to keep up with the modern world. Morals is not only saying what is right and good but also do what is right, as in our actions. Don't ever let go of the Islamic teaching that we have learn throughout our life. It is a waste not practising what we learnt. Knowing and not practising is worse than those who don't know and not practising. We need not change ourselves to suit to the modern world. We should suit the modern world to our own self; to our religion.

I too make mistakes. Pardon me for any wrongdoings. 

Remember, God is always there for people who remember Him. 

Take care people.

That's all from me for now. 

come back

Salam people!

It has been nearly 3 weeks since the last post. Sorry dear readers for not updating. Usual reason I guess. heh. Since the school holidays, a lot of things have been happening to me.

At last, on the 19th of march, I get to go out with my girlfriends!! Although we were really undecided where we will be eating, we decided on Secret Recipe and fyi, Secret Recipe wasn't even in our list of makan places! Of course, we chit chat.. and many secrets were told and I really had a great time. Thanks =)

love cheesecakes!!! =D

After school reopens, homework's, assignments keep stacking up. Well, I just need to manage my time properly.

On the 27th of march was the finals for the Arabic debate. It is just a competition inside school. It has been a blessing for me. Here is the story.

I was appalled when ustaz chose me to enter the debate. One, it can be clearly seen that my arabic s***s and my confidence level falls immediately when it's arabic. Two, I've never debated in front of so many people. Three, I rarely spoke arabic. I just can't understand the rationale of Ustaz choosing me as a debater, an arabic debater when there's clearly many more in the class better than me. I don't know why i just kept quiet when Ustaz asked if I'm ok with his decision. I just agreed, unwillingly at first. I realized later that I've made the right choice.

When I kept thinking about it, maybe this is the time for me to brush up on my arabic, maybe, this is the starting point for me to be serious in my arabic, and just maybe it is a sign from God.

For me, whatever I'm doing, I'll try to do my very best. Although it is not my choice to enter the debate but I've promised to myself to do my best. I never expected to win, but Alhamdulillah, I managed to get to the finals by just 1 point. I was just lucky, I guess. I have lots of grammar mistakes and I kept looking at my text. I don't know if I was happy or unhappy with the result. Well, I need to through the ordeal one more time. It is excruciating. Believe me.

I wasn't really prepared for the finals but I tried to make the best of it. I just hope that I'll present better this time round. I did not expect my group to win as there are two experienced debaters in the opponent's group. The day finally came. We had to wear blazers. I was coughing really hard as I was really nervous. Alhamdulillah, I managed to keep my cool on the stage.

Time flew by very fast on the stage. I was relieved. I just don't care what the results were. when it is announced that the best speaker is from my group, I was sure that the opponent's group had won. When they announced the winning group, I was confused, even my group members. The results were not really clear. When they repeated that it was our group that had won, I thank God for the chance that has been given to me. All my efforts had not gone to waste. Alhamdulillah.

After the debate, i believe that even though we are not good or expert in something, unless we faced it, we will never know what our capabilities are. We should have the courage to do things that we are not good at. We should not just be contented with what we are good at but we should try out new things.

That's all from me for now. =)